Relationships between people in the field of business and friendship
A little honesty to start with.
We often confuse two worlds. - friendship and business.
In the first world, we live:
- walk
- chat
- play
- dinner
- discussed
In the second world, I and You live:
- agreed
- role-sharing
- timeline
- counted
- answerable
And the problem begins when these worlds intersect without rules.
"We": the territory of heat
There's no KPI in friendship.
No deadlines.
There are no penalties for late response in the messenger.
I'm in the mood.
There's emotion.
There's "you know what I mean."
We can spend three hours discussing ideas, laughing, arguing, changing the topic and not making a single decision. - And that's okay.
Friendship - This is a place where you can be imperfect.
Me and You: The Territory of Structure
Business is different.
It doesn’t work “let’s do it sometime.”
It works here on Friday at 14:00.
There's no "you're my friend" here.
There is a “participant under the contract”.
Business - It's a coordinate system.
And if there are emotions without frames, the system begins to stagger.
When a friend becomes a partner
The most interesting story begins when friendship and business come together.
Scenario 1:
"We've been friends for a long time, let's make something up."
Scenario 2:
We understand each other, we don’t need contracts.
Scenario 3:
If what? - We'll figure it out.
This is usually done after the conflict.
The paradox is that it is with friends that you need to fix agreements more rigidly than with strangers. Not because there's no trust. It's because there's emotion.
The main difference: responsibility
In friendship, responsibility is blurred.
If someone's late - No offense at all.
In business, responsibility is material.
Late. - He lost his contract.
Wrong. - I paid the fine.
I didn't. - shut down the company.
When these levels mix, there is an internal conflict:
“Am I now a friend or a partner?”
Why business ruins friendship
Business rarely ruins friendships.
It spoils the unsaid.
- We didn't discuss the money.
- We did not share areas of responsibility.
- We didn't say what we expected.
- We decided that "and so understandable."
In business, there is nothing “understandable.”
Money is the most honest indicator
As you walk, have dinner and chat. - It's okay.
But as soon as there is a profit distribution, the maturity test of the relationship begins.
One thinks he put in more effort.
The other believes his contribution is undervalued.
The third thought it was “for the soul.”
Money reveals what used to be “we.”
Can you make friends and do business together?
You can. But on one condition:
You must be able to switch.
There's a "we" mode.
There's a me and you mode.
In "We" mode, you can argue about the movie and laugh until the night.
In the “Me and You” mode, you fix the conditions, sign the documents and count the numbers.
If the roles are not separated - chaos begins.
The Simple Formula for Healthy Relationships
- In business, there is always an agreement on paper.
- Money is considered open.
- Responsibility doesn't blur.
- Personality is not used as an argument in work matters.
If you are not willing to discuss money with a friend - You're not ready to do business with him.
And a little life irony.
We - We walked, talked, played, had dinner.
I and you - Distributed shares, prescribed duties, fixed KPI.
We - We can be offended and forgive.
I and you - We may not fulfill our obligation and lose everything.
Sometimes, in order to keep the “we”, it is better to leave the business in the “me and you” format with another partner.
And it's not betrayal.
It's adulthood.
Friendship - about heat.
Business - about the system.
When the system is built on heat - It can work.
When heat is replaced by a system - Relationships are chilling.
The main question is not whether you can be friends and do business.
The main question - Can you honestly talk about the rules?
